


it's kinda strange (but i like it)

by otterpuns



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, Trainee AU, fluffy af, i think, pining?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:20:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23579044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otterpuns/pseuds/otterpuns
Summary: The three times Hyunjin hurts Heejin, and the one time she doesn't.
Relationships: Jeon Heejin/Kim Hyunjin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 88





	it's kinda strange (but i like it)

**Author's Note:**

> lol idk what this is, this was purely self-indulgent. please forgive me for any mistakes. title from "written in the stars" by wendy & john legend. comments and kudos are appreciated! thanks for reading <3

The first time Hyunjin meets Heejin is when they were in high school. 

As a high schooler, all Hyunjin could focus on was soccer. She knew that if she did well enough she might be lucky enough to be scouted by an overseas team one day and make a living off being a professional soccer player. 

To do that, however, she had to get better. Stronger. Faster. She spent her days on the soccer pitch running drills with her older brothers. When she wasn’t running drills, she was watching videos of professional players and observing what she could learn from them. Her mind was occupied by soccer and soccer only. She knew her flaws and she knew her strengths. At this point in time, she didn’t want any distractions 

She eventually gets distracted twice.

The first distraction was her being unwillingly dragged to an audition by her friend and then instead of her friend being offered the elusive trainee contract, it was Hyunjin. All Hyunjin did was sit in the waiting area praying that her friend gets scouted. She had never thought about becoming a singer, much less an  _ idol.  _ What was even more shocking was that Hyunjin accepted the offer without discussing it with her parents.  _ Oops. _

Later that night she tells her parents of the offer and the first thing they ask her is: “What about soccer?”

_ Oh, right.  _ She hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. She’s heard of stories where student athletes who begin trainee life had to give up their passion in sports because the companies were afraid of injuries. 

“There must be a reason I agreed to this right? Even if I had never thought of it before…” Hyunjin trails off and begins to wonder if she really made the right decision. 

“Honey,” her mom speaks up, “do what your heart tells you to do. Do what makes you feel right.”

She takes her mom’s words to heart and re-evaluates her priorities. A certain future with soccer or an uncertain future as an idol? 

The next morning she chooses the latter option. 

(She hopes she made the right decision)

(The second distraction comes in the form of Jeon Heejin.)

Imagine her surprise when she comes to the pitch one day for practice and sees a mini-crowd of students. 

“Hyunjin! We came to see you practice!”

“Hyunjin unnie is the best!”

Well, this was unexpected. Word must have gotten around that she was beginning her trainee life. If she was going to start trainee life to become an idol, she might as well start being friendly to the masses. 

She waves to the crowd with one hand and holds the soccer ball in her other arm. As soon as she does that, the whole crowd sounds out a  _ ooooooh  _ and that was when Hyunjin notices a girl she’s never seen before. As she’s waving to the small crowd, she’s sneaking glances at this girl (who happens to wear the same school uniform as Hyunjin). It’s odd how she’s never noticed the girl.  _ She’s so painfully beautiful,  _ Hyunjin thinks and she moves her eyes down to the girl’s name tag.  _ Jeon Heejin. _

Hyunjin eventually makes eye contact with Heejin and could not hold back her blush as the girl gives her the prettiest smile she’s ever seen. Feeling like a deer caught in the headlights, Hyunjin quickly turns away and starts dribbling the ball between her feet. A pair of feet shows up in her line of view and she recognizes that to be of her brother. 

“That’s a crowd you got there.”

“Shut up and help me practice.” 

Hyunjin passes the ball quickly and accurately to her brother who receives the ball well. As the siblings pass the ball back and forth, Hyunjin’s brother suggests Hyunjin to practice heading the ball. He swiftly kicks the ball up into the air toward Hyunjin. Lucky for her, she reacts quick enough and the ball bounces perfectly off her head. As the ball is still up in the air, Hyunjin hears a thump followed by a yelp and all she can think is  _ shit shit shit shit.  _

Of all the places the ball could land, it lands right on Heejin’s head and the guilt immediately fills Hyunjin. She runs over to where the ball is and sees that Heejin is crouched over with both of her hands covering her head, wincing in pain. 

“Hey are you okay?” Hyunjin asks with concern. She couldn’t believe that she just headed a ball right to the prettiest girl she’s ever seen and it hit her square on the head. She doesn’t know what to do with her hands because she wants to comfort Heejin but they’re practically strangers (so she settles with placing her hands on her knees, fingers itching to be on Heejin’s back.) 

“That’s a killer header you have there, Hyunjin.” Heejin looks up and lightly chuckles at Hyunjin, “but yeah I’m fine I’ve seen worse.” 

Relief washes over Hyunjin and she extends a hand toward Heejin, “I’m sorry. Will you accept my apology?”

Heejin smiles brightly and Hyunjin is suddenly awestruck. Her eyes grow big as Heejin’s eyes crinkle in the right places. Heejin accepts the extended hand. 

When Hyunjin comes home after the debacle, she forgets that she chose to become an idol trainee. Instead, her thoughts are occupied by Heejin’s smile and it’s the only thing she wants to see. 

———

The second time Hyunjin meets Heejin is in Blockberry’s dance studio. 

By this time, Halloween, Christmas and the New Year have came and went. Hyunjin can’t remember the last time she had a soccer ball between her feet. She also can’t remember the last time she’s spoken to Heejin. Ever since the incident, it was hard to catch the girl anywhere even if they went to the same school. 

(However, Hyunjin hasn’t forgotten that smile Heejin gave her.) 

Hyunjin and a handful of other girls were practicing a routine for their monthly evaluations. Since it was currently winter break, Hyunjin couldn’t remember the last time she saw the sun. She would wake up at dawn to head to the company and by the time she was finished practicing singing, dancing, and acting it was dark out and the neon signs that flutter the streets of Seoul would light up. In some ways, she thinks that these signs are a source of sunlight for her. (It’s better than nothing, she thinks.) Her family is worried for her but the most they can do right now is to support her.

(She feels their support when she wakes up at dawn and sees the dining table set with breakfast for her. She eats every drop and piece because she knows that it’ll be a long day (every day is a long day). Before leaving, she would clean her dishes and as she slips on her shoes before leaving the apartment she finds a handwritten note. These notes contain messages from her family members and it never fails to make tears bubble up. 

Nonetheless, this is the path she chose. It’s hard and it’s difficult. However, with her family right beside her, she knows that it’s the right choice.)

Halfway through the song that she and the other trainees are preparing, the Creative Director walks in with a few girls in tow. Hyunjin and the trainees stop dancing, sweat dripping from their foreheads, breaths ragged. Scanning the new group of girls, Hyunjin sees one girl that particularly stands out and she inwardly gasps. 

“Girls, these are our new trainees,” he announces, “please treat them well. Haseul, could you please show them around once you and your team are finished?”

“Yes!” Haseul says, loud and full of confidence.

“Great! Practice hard girls.”

Once the Creative Director leaves, there’s some sort of tension in the air. Hyunjin, dazed, couldn’t believe her eyes. Right before her eyes is one Jeon Heejin. Heejin with the puppy-like features and a smile that is much cuter than any puppy. Heejin’s smiling at her and Hyunjin suddenly feels like the spotlight is on her. 

“Let’s introduce ourselves,” Haseul speaks up, “We’ll start first and then you guys can do it after us. I’m Haseul!”

Hyunjin is deaf to the introductions made by her team. All she can see and hear is Heejin and it’s  _ suffocating.  _ She doesn’t realize it’s her turn until Yerim nudges her with her elbow.

“Unnie, it’s your turn,” whispers Yerim.

Flustered, Hyunjin introduces herself, “I-I’m Hyunjin!” She’s practically screaming at this point, making a fool of herself. She currently wants to curl up into a ball and be kicked out of the studio by Yerim. She hears Heejin giggle and feels her cheek turn hot.

Hyunjin wants to run out of the studio, and she does this by making a quick excuse saying she has to go to the restroom. She sprints toward the door, but instead of meeting the door handle she meets the cold hard ground and something  _ soft. _ Hearing a groan coming from her left side, Hyunjin blanches and prays  _ please don’t let it be Heejin please please please. _

As if someone had it out for her, it was Heejin and she curses her fate.

(It just had to be Heejin. Hyunjin wants to be carried away on a stretcher, never to return to the studio.)

“Puppy!”

Hyunjin covers her mouth and wants to be pushed off a cliff. What the hell was she thinking calling Jeon Heejin puppy? The trainees are uncharacteristically quiet until Yerim speaks up.

“Let’s do the introduction later! Haseul-unnie let’s show them around!”

Haseul, knowing Hyunjin well-enough that she does not want to be bothered, gathers the trainees— new and old— to the other side of the room leaving both Heejin and Hyunjin on the floor.

“Puppy?”

Hyunjin’s ears are on fire and she wants nothing more than to be very far away from this situation. She figures she might as well make this situation better. Gathering all of her confidence, she replies to Heejin.

“You look like a cute puppy,” she pauses, “are you okay? Here let me help you get up.”

Heejin nods and puts on a smile that crinkles up her nose. As Hyunjin is helping Heejin up, she realizes that they never had a proper introduction. Hyunjin dusts herself off, and feels a burning gaze on her.

“I’m Heejin, let’s be friends!”

Heejin is shooting the brightest smile to Hyunjin and she’s blinded by it. Honestly, everything about Heejin is blinding and deafening to Hyunjin. How could she say no to such a simple request?

(Hyunjin agrees, of course.)

—

The third time it happens, Hyunjin thinks it’s the worst one. 

Hyunjin is standing in front of a poster board with the names and faces of each girl who chose the song she wanted to do. It’s a girl crush concept that Hyunjin knows she would excel in. She sees Heejin’s name tag and knows that the girl would also do well, but the cute concept would be better. 

_ Crap,  _ she thinks,  _ it’s full. _

She scans the board carefully and doesn’t have the heart to remove anyone’s name from the board (especially not Heejin’s). After two grueling months of this bullshit, no one deserved to be replaced because of Hyunjin. However, she has to for the sake of the eleven girls waiting to be together as one. Before it was her turn, Hyunjin had gone through the many different outcomes of this show. The best outcome for her was neither her nor Heejin would make it to the final nine, thus giving  _ 이달의 소녀  _ the opportunity to debut much sooner. If it meant making Heejin perform the safer option, so be it. 

(A full year after Hyunjin, Heejin, and Haseul had been introduced to the public, they were told to participate in  _ Mixnine.  _ Hyunjin reacted the worst to this news. Why did they need to go on this program? What would happen if they actually debut? Would that mean that the project would be put on hold? She was confused and lost but she was mostly hurt. Had the Creative Director not believe in them enough? Was  _ she  _ not enough?

These thoughts ran through her mind and it almost consumed her until her would-be members gave her encouragement. Haseul came up to her first when it was announced. Haseul had told her that everything was going to be okay and throughout the show that she would have two pairs of hands she could always hold onto. Vivi had told her to keep working hard so that they could all run one day— _ together.  _ Yeojin and Yerim in a roundabout way lifted her mood. Both of the youngest members had told her that they were willing to wait since they’ll still be younger than her when they finally debut (Hyunjin had stared at them with a blank face that made Yerim run away but Yeojin stayed and continued to annoy her.) Jungeun had awkwardly given her bread with a note on it that read:  _ eat this it’ll make you feel better  _ (she was right it did make her feel better). Jinsoul had given her a hug and told her a simple  _ hwaiting  _ before also tearing up. 

But sweet, perfect, wholesome Heejin gave her the confidence. The night before their audition, Hyunjin couldn’t sleep a wink. She rolled out of bed and went out for fresh air. Not a moment later, she heard quiet footsteps walking toward her and knew right away that it was Heejin. Once Heejin was near, she grabbed Hyunjin’s hand and intertwined their fingers together.

“You couldn’t sleep either?”

The autumn air was crisp and breezy, the leaves crinkled under both of their feet as they walked around the apartment building. The butterflies began to build up in Hyunjin’s stomach and she didn’t know whether if it was Heejin holding her hand or the audition that was causing. Hyunjin really hoped it was the latter.

“I’m nervous about tomorrow.”

“Don’t be. You got this. You trained the most out of all of us and if none of us don’t pass, so be it. That idiot wouldn’t know talent if it slapped him in the face.”)

After standing in front of the board for what feels like forever, Hyunjin goes for it. She takes a deep breath before taking off Heejin’s name and replacing it with hers. With Heejin’s name tag in her hand, Hyunjin drags herself to the room where the other Mixnine girls were waiting. She hears a lot of chattering and the moment she pushes the door open she hears gasps instead. Everyone looks at her with surprise, but all Hyunjin can see is wide-eyed Heejin.

“The member I will remove is…” Hyunjin takes a deep breath, “Blockberry Creative’s Jeon Heejin.”

This time the gasps were louder, but Hyunjin can only hear Heejin’s “are you serious?” and it keeps ringing in her ears. She walks toward where Heejin was sitting and shows her the name tag. Hyunjin could see the hurt in the girl’s eyes and felt guilty about her decision. But, she had to hold her head high. As Heejin is walking away, she could feel the heaviness in her best friend’s footsteps. Heejin never looks back at Hyunjin, even as Hyunjin shouts “it’s for your sake!”. Heejin is lingering by the doors and all Hyunjin wants to do is hug Heejin, she wants to tell her it was going to be okay and that everything has a way of working itself out at the end. But she doesn’t.

(They don’t talk for weeks.)

—

Things quickly return to normal once the show ends. Hyunjin (unsurprisingly) drops out of the top 9, and Heejin moves up in the ranking ( _ Heejin should’ve been #1,  _ Hyunjin thinks). Fortunately, the girls team didn’t win which makes Hyunjin happier than she should be. She wanted to congratulate her best friend(?) but she couldn’t find the courage to talk to the girl and explain herself. Ryujin had come up to her one day and said: “dude Heejin was a fucking mess during our practices, you screwed up big time”. All Hyunjin could do was hold back her tears. Now that it’s over she could return to some normalcy in her life.

During the ending ceremony, Hyunjin feels a familiar presence next to her. 

_ Heejin. _

As she turns to meet Heejin, the other girl suddenly moves forward and whispers right next to her ear.

“I’m still upset at you, you know?” 

All Hyunjin could do was slowly nod. It was understandable that Heejin would be upset. Hell, if it were Hyunjin in Heejin’s shoes she would have been upset, too. She wants to curl into a ball and never talk to anyone ever again. She was so stupid.  _ Stupid, stupid, stupid.  _

“But…” Heejin trails, “I get it. You know what’s best for me, yeah? I’m glad we got to share this experience together. I don’t think I would’ve made it without you, Hyunjin.”

Heejin is smiling so wide, eyes and nose crinkled and Hyunjin wants to save that image of Heejin forever in her mind. Her smile was so brilliantly bright that it makes Hyunjin a little queasy, but she smiles in return. Hyunjin feels Heejin’s arm snake around her waist and pull her close. She feels like she’s going to combust, but she’s happy. 

“Heejin?”

In the midst of cheering from the audience, the staff members screaming directions at each other, and the contestants congratulating each other, all Hyunjin could see was Heejin. Heejin and her too bright eyes, too bright smile. The air around her is heavy and wow has Heejin always been this beautiful? Hyunjin was too aware of her surroundings, wanting to go somewhere where it was just Heejin and her. 

“Let’s go home?”

Happily, Heejin agrees. 

(Later that night, with Heejin an arms reach away, Hyunjin wishes she had said something else. 

_ I love you. _ )

—

“Kim Hyunjin!”

Hyunjin perks up at the sound of her name being called by an all too familiar voice in a sea of noises. Her eyes meet Heejin and it feels like it’s just the two of them in their own world. Two years have gone and come since the incident. A lot has happened but at the same time nothing has happened, Hyunjin notes. Important events occurred like their first concert, their debut, and now their first ever music show win. She still hasn’t gotten her earring CF that she’s been dying to have but at least Heejin got her wish fulfilled by having all twelve be in a school uniform ad. 

_ It’s about time,  _ Hyunjin thinks. She thinks about everything the twelve of them had to endure to rightfully earn this first win. She thinks about the aftermath of Mixnine and how they dodged a bullet big time. She thinks about the year long hiatus, her future uncertain. She thinks about Haseul and how she wishes Haseul was there physically with them to celebrate. And then, she thinks about Heejin. Her one to her two. The puppy with the deep voice and large doe eyes. 

Heejin, who has been there, who has seen everything, whose fiery passion and dedication led her to where she is today. Heejin, who Hyunjin has had the pleasure to spend her formidable years with. The same girl who continues to keep Hyunjin in awe and in her gravity. 

At the sound of her name being called by Heejin, Hyunjin smiles.

“Jeon Heejin!”

Heejin is skipping toward her, face streaked with runny mascara but the brightest smile on her face. Hyunjin feels Heejin wrap her small arms around her waist and feels her nuzzle her head into the crook of Hyunjin’s neck.

“We did it, Hyunjin. We finally did it.” 

Feeling the vibration of Heejin’s voice, Hyunjin pulls her closer and wants time to stop. It’s just the two of them in their own world. She chuckles at her Heejin when she feels her shirt getting damp.

“Stop laughing at me!” Heejin tugs her closer with one arm and uses her other arm to lightly hit Hyunjin’s chest.

Hyunjin smiles even more, “I can’t help it. You’re such a cute crybaby. Miss Crybaby, what are your plans after tonight?”

“Practice! I was monitoring—”

Hyunjin shushes Heejin and instead takes Heejin’s hand and leads her out of the noisy practice room. Once they’re alone, Heejin looks at Hyunjin with confusion. 

“I’m not good with words, but I hope you understand what I’m trying to say,” Hyunjin pauses and feels the other girl grip her hand tighter. 

“Jeon Heejin, you blind me with your smiles. I can’t see anything or think of anything else when you smile. You’re all I see and think about,” Hyunjin takes another pause to look at Heejin, “I get it if you want to run away. But this is what I feel when you’re around.”

Squeezing her eyes shut, Hyunjin looks at at anywhere but in front of her. She feels a hand on her cheek bringing her to face the front. A thumb is caressing her cheek and she wants to hide even more. 

“Hyunjin, let’s go home?”

Opening her eyes, she is suddenly blinded again. The too bright smile with the too bright eyes and the most beautiful person in front of her. 

Happily, Hyunjin agrees. 


End file.
